Jennifer Rubin wants us to know that Mitt hasn’t made any mistakes or “gaffes.” It’s that no one understands how obviously butch Mitt really is:

• “Asked about the well-publicized (especially in British papers!) security snafus at the Olympics, he expressed concern. He forgot to pull his punch.” (HAWT!)

• “Then we went to Jerusalem and won the gold medal in the obvious:Jerusalem is the capital of Israel.” (Swooon!)

• “He then explained: “Culture makes all the difference.” He never said or implied “Jewish culture” was superior to any other; he was talking, again, about the culture of capitalism. [...] Once again, Romney was being both blunt and thoughtful. His view is the farthest ideology imaginable from “racism,”” (Totally misunderstood HOTNESS!)

• “Obama tells the Palestinians they are akin to enslaved African Americans; Romney tells them to get their act together.” (Exploding ovaries!)

She summarizes with Reagan (he’s like Reagan, dammit!):

“The press fainted over Ronald Reagan’s designation of “Evil Empire” to describe an empire that was evil. Now they stroke out on the suggestion Israel should be an example to its neighbors. Count me impressed. What the paper that once denied the existence of Stalin’s gulag calls a “gaffe,” freedom- loving people call “hope and change.” If this is the Romney we’re going to see during the balance of the campaign Obama is in deep trouble. This Romney is unapologetic. This Romney has sincere faith in free markets and free peoples. And this Romney is not going to be a prisoner of diplomatic doublespeak to avoid faux-offense-taking by international players. Let Obama be the one to run down entrepreneurialism. Let him talk in circles about Jerusalem. Maybe American and European elites will swoon, but Americans? Not so much, I think.”

So, FYI, the world has simply failed to appreciate Macho Mitt. Watch out real ‘Merica — after marking three countries with his manliness, Mitt’s comin’ home and (in Jennifer’s mind) he’s going to bust through your front door, wearing that old police uniform he used to dress up in years ago, and totally have his way with you, Fifty Shades of Mitt style!