Another graduate of Rush Limbaugh University

For listening just three hours a day from your truck or assisted living center, you too can earn a Ph.D in Illogically Stupid White Males or a J.D. in Racist Comparative Theory for Dumbshits!

Here, Dr. Johnny Howard (RLU, summa cum laude), explains how affordable health insurance is obviously someone’s (!) punishment for slavery:

Balloon Juice — After Congress passed the debt ceiling extension and reopened the government, the owner of Smokin’ Joe’s Ribhouse in Rogers, Arkansas, Johnny Howard, decided to make this public statement on the road sign outside of his restaurant:

Obamacare_Slavery

The sign was up for approximately 45 minutes, and after it was taken down, Howard apologized and said:

It’s the policy and I made the mistake of wording it in the wrong fashion. The policy. It’s not the person it’s the policy, … To me this health care plan is a job killer. I myself will have to eliminate at least one location if all the policies that were written originally go through.

You might ask yourself: Wait. WHY would Dr. Howard need to eliminate one location of his vast rib empire if people will be able to buy health insurance at a lower price? There are no easy answers… just know it will have to happen because, Obamacare.

Chart: what Republicans got out of the government shutdown

Here’s what Republicans got out of the shutdown, in one chart

Washington Post – Back in September, Republicans released a list of their demands for raising the debt ceiling. Today, the Rachel Maddow show went back to see how they did. And this chart doesn’t even show everything the Republicans lost in the deal… via @EzraKlein

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Yesterday, President Obama put the GOP’s hostage-taking and demands in perspective:

CS Monitor —  “To all my friends in Congress, understand that how business is done in this town has to change,” said the president. Obama said that politicians should stop focusing on lobbyists, bloggers, talking heads, and “professional activists who profit from conflict” to focus on creating jobs and getting the nation’s fiscal house in order. Specifically, he said Washington should now focus on a “balanced approach to a responsible budget,” passage of immigration reform, and finishing a farm bill.

[...] Obama went on to praise the work of furloughed government workers, saying they care for seniors and veterans, ensure workplaces, food, and toys are safe, and other numerous vital services. He said he recognizes that some people disagree vehemently with his policies. But disagreement needs to be resolved in the normal democratic process, he said. “You don’t like a particular policy or a particular president, then argue for your position. Go out there and win an election. Push to change it. But don’t break it,” he said.

Obama’s tough tone was hard to miss. He wasn’t singing “Kumbaya” and asking everyone to join hands. His message, in essence, was this: I won fair and square within the normal democratic process. If you don’t like it, take back the Senate in 2014 and the White House in 2016, if you can.

Is Michele Bachmann drinking all day long now?

On Saturday, she said the President is funding al Qaeda, which is a sign of the End Times:

Rep. Michele Bachmann accused President Obama of giving aid to Al Qaeda, which she said is proof that we are living in the Last Days. Of course, on the same day Bachmann gave the interview, a Delta Force operation approved by Obama nabbed a key Al Qaeda figure in Libya. [...] Bachmann said that the Al Qaeda funding (which isn’t happening) is a sign of the End Times: “This happened and as of today the United States is willingly, knowingly, intentionally sending arms to terrorists, now what this says to me, I’m a believer in Jesus Christ, as I look at the End Times scripture, this says to me that the leaf is on the fig tree and we are to understand the signs of the times, which is your ministry, we are to understand where we are in God’s end times history. Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand,” Bachmann continued. “When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah.”

On Tuesday, she said she wants to impeach the President for “thuggery:” 

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) said Tuesday that President Obama has “committed impeachable offenses” and that the House could hold a hearing to impeach. “We can have an impeachment hearing in the House, and in my mind the president has committed impeachable offenses,” Bachmann told conservative talk show host Rusty Humphries in an interview first detailed by Right Wing Watch. “I think we could be on the cusp of seeing civil disobedience — I’m not saying I want civil disobedience — but people aren’t going to take the thuggery of this president much longer,” she said. “We see thuggery going on in the White House, we’re not going to take it. We’ve drawn a line in the sand, and we’re telling the president you need to recognize … that you are a co-equal branch of government. You are not a dictator.”

Also on Tuesday, she said she was mistaken for 20-year-old Miley Cyrus: 

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) said this week that people confused her with pop singer Miley Cyrus but she has “never done twerking” in her life. …“What was kind of funny is the Monday after Saturday Night Live aired, we had a lot of calls in the office [and] people thought that actually was me in the skit. And I will tell you as a 57-year-old woman, it’s been a long time since I’ve been confused for a 20-year-old.”

  

I guess I can see how some elderly folks who could use an appointment with the eye doctor might make this mistake. Brown hair, open mouth, idiotic…

Morning coffee: Hug a Thug today


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REMINDER:

Sarah shat a new zinger-turd!

“Where is our commander in chief? We’re talking now more new interventions. I say until we know what we’re doing, until we have a commander in chief who knows what he’s doing, well, let these radical Islamic countries who aren’t even respecting basic human rights, where both sides are slaughtering each other as they scream over an arbitrary red line, ‘Allah Akbar,’ I say until we have someone who knows what they’re doing, I say let Allah sort it out.

Sarah Palin speaking on Syria and American foreign policy Saturday at the Faith and Freedom Coalition conference. (video)

And, really, what’s going on with this Bumpit-combover-dead-animal situation on top of Palin’s head?

No wonder Fox “News” hired her back.

In case you wondered: “The statement shows how far Palin has drifted from former running mate Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who is the chief Senate proponent of U.S. military action to help the Syrian rebels.” – John McCain, Real Man Of Genius

McCain’s entire historical legacy should be this woman.

Bill Maher: Ronald Reagan was the Original Teabagger

I happened to catch Bill Maher’s incredibly wonderful evisceration of Ronald Reagan on Friday night and was thrilled to have found video and transcript of it online. I’m sharing it here in case you missed it.

Transcript via BruinKid at DailyKos:

“…And finally, New Rule: when Bob Dole, a guy so Republican his adult diaper has a flagpin (audience groaning laughter), when he says his party has become a bunch of idea-free ideologues who obstruct too much, people should listen.  But they should also question his other statement that Ronald Reagan himself couldn’t have made it today as a Republican.

This has become a kind of conventional wisdom, that the Republican Party has gone so far right, Reagan himself wouldn’t fit in.  But I’m here tonight to call bullshit on that.  Ronald Reagan was an anti-government, union-busting, race-baiting, anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-intellectual, who cut rich people’s taxes in half, had an incurable case for the military-industrial complex, and said Medicare was socialism that would destroy our freedom.  Sounds to me like he would fit in just fine.  (audience applause)

Now, I know over at Fox News right now, they’re already putting out a fatwa on me, for committing the cardinal sin of taking in vain the sacred name of Ronald Reagan.  It’s a name like Jesus Christ — you can say it, but only in a good way.  Like, “Jesus Christ, bless this chili dog.”  Not like, “Jesus Christ, look at the ass on Rihanna!”  No, can’t do that.

But what they cannot contest is that even though Reagan did a few things today’s GOP would not like, he wrote the playbook for them on every issue of consequence.  Sure, he raised taxes a few times, but when you look at where he started with taxes and where he ended, this is where our income inequality problems began.  Heinvented voodoo economics.

On race, his ideas couldn’t have been more Tea Party if he shouted them from a rascal scooter.  He ran on states’ rights.  He invented the notion that black people get all the breaks, constantly telling the story of the Chicago woman — wink, wink — who has “80 names, 30 addresses, 12 Social Security cards”, and her tax-free cash income is over $150,000.  And that woman today is RuPaul.  Actually, that woman never existed.  Reagan just made shit up, something else he pioneered for his party of today. (audience applause)

He described the New Deal as “fascism”, Medicaid recipients as “waiting for handouts”, unemployment insurance as “pre-paid vacation for freeloaders”, and once said, “a tree’s a tree, how many more do you need to look at?”  He was the original official pitchman for batshit.  When they hold up signs that say “no socialized medicine”, where do you think they got it from?  We got it from you, dad, we got it from you.

RONALD REAGAN: If you don’t do this and if I don’t do it, one of these days you and I are going to spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it once was like in American when men were free.

Drama queen much?  (audience laughter)

Worst of all, Reagan inspired a whole generation of people who hate government to get into government.  Both sides really should stop pretending he was something other than the man most responsible for our decline.  (wild audience cheering and applause)  And I do mean both sides.

You know, I get why Republicans worship Reagan, they’re the religious party.  Worship is in their DNA.  They can’t help it.  They love him beyond logic.  Last year, they tried to elect his haircut.

(audience laughter)

They want him on a stamp so they can lick his backside.  (audience groaning laughter)

But why are Democrats conceding the argument on Reagan?  Obama talks about him like he’s a brother from another mother!  “He changed the trajectory of America.”  Yes, but not for the better!  When you mainstream Reagan, the far-right becomes the new middle.

He wasn’t a friend to all Americans.  He was Patient Zero for everything you’re fighting against now.  He was the original teabagger.  Stop agreeing he was a saint.

Especially when his two miracles were turning water into polluted water and walking on the poor.”

Homophobic males: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women

Shut up and deal with the world you’ve created.

“We were discussing homosexuality because of an allusion to it in the book we were reading, and several boys made comments such as, “That’s disgusting.” We got into the debate and eventually a boy admitted that he was terrified/disgusted when he was once sharing a taxi and the other male passenger made a pass at him. The lightbulb went off. “Oh,” I said. “I get it. See, you are afraid, because for the first time in your life you have found yourself a victim of unwanted sexual advances by someone who has the physical ability to use force against you.” The boy nodded and shuddered visibly.“But,” I continued. “As a woman, you learn to live with that from the time you are fourteen, and it never stops. We live with that fear every day of our lives. Every man walking through the parking garage the same time you are is either just a harmless stranger or a potential rapist. Every time.” The girls in the room nodded, agreeing. The boys seemed genuinely shocked. “So think about that the next time you hit on a girl. Maybe, like you in the taxi, she doesn’t actually want you to.””

— Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women. (Andrew Sullivan)

See all discussions of Catcalling on The Dish

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The very best possible response for women:


via liberalforever

Some real-life examples:



via jodyrobots

        
via: popsible

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Up next: American Christians who claim to be ‘oppressed’

The GOP: Party of Self

JM Ashby: Representative Paul Broun (R-GA) doesn’t support gay marriage because he’s “not going to marry one,” but did you also know he doesn’t support ending discrimination against transgender persons because he ‘doesn’t want a sex change?’ “I don’t want to pay for a sex change operation. I’m not interested. I like being a boy.”

In other news, Broun doesn’t support tampons because he doesn’t menstruate. He doesn’t support wheelchairs because he can walk just fine, thank you very much. Basically, if it’s not Broun, Broun doesn’t support it: “I like being me and I’m not interested in things that aren’t me.” 

Broun is the basic definition of the Republican Party.