“He’s everything we need and more. He’s modern. He knows who Tupac is. He is on social media.” — GOP strategist Nicole Wallace on Marco Rubio.
The only negative to the implosion of rightwing fundamentalism is that it’s just not happening fast enough.
Bill Keller’s website: http://www.votingforsatan.com
NOTE: Bill Keller has also claimed that President Obama is God’s enemy.
But look, I guess it’s good to know who’s been officially appointed to stand in judgement of all people and speak for GOD (when Rick Santorum is busy, of course): good ol’ Bill Keller.
Well this is awkward and full of cringe.
Jed Lewison: Mitt Romney tries to lead a crowd in Vandalia, Ohio yesterday, into a chant of “Romney-Ryan” … to awkward effect:
A video tribute to the unspeakable, soul-crushing awkwardness and general vapidity of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney.
“For Mitt Romney, it’s the laugh. I’m sure that at times Romney laughs with genuine mirth, but you know the laugh I’m talking about. It’s the one he delivers when he gets asked a question he doesn’t want to answer, or is confronted with a demand to explain a flip-flop or a lie. It’s the phoniest laugh in the world, the one New York Times reporter Ashley Parker wrote ‘sounds like someone stating the sounds of laughter, a staccato Ha. Ha. Ha.‘ Everything Mitt Romney is as a candidate is distilled within that laugh — his insincerity, his ambition, his awkwardness, and above all his fear. When Mitt laughs that way, he is not amused. He is terrified. Because he knows that what he’s saying is utter baloney, and he knows that we know it.” — Paul Waldman
Huffington Post: “There comes a time for every presidential candidate at which his or her freedom of movement is severely restricted, once what is known as a “protective press pool” becomes part of their campaign. For Mitt Romney, that day came Monday. From now on, through Election Day on Nov. 6, a small group of reporters will travel with Romney wherever he goes. When he is not going anywhere, the reporters will gather in the morning wherever he is, and wait.”
Can you imagine having the job of reporting each detail, 24/7, of Romney’s Awkwardly Beige Life? This is where Mitt’s acting skills (or, if you like, programming) and his campaign’s staging, props, and writing staffs will be put to the test. Can they pull this off — can they make him appear humanoid?
Cont: Romney left the hardware store — where he bought “hardware stuff” — and went to the grocery store and then a Rite Aid, according to a subsequent report from the Post’s Phil Rucker:
Gov. Romney left Bradley’s Hardware at 8:54 a.m. with a beige bucket of goods. Asked what he bought, Romney told your pooler, “Hardware stuff.” Then, he said, “Going to the grocery store now,” and climbed into his Suburban.
At 8:57 a.m., Romney arrived at Hunters Shop ‘n Save, a nearby grocery store. Before entering the store, he stopped to get two ears of “native sweet corn” from an outside display. They were on sale for two for $1.00.
When your pool asked if he was cooking tonight, Romney said, “Absolutely.” At that, Romney grabbed a shopping cart and went inside the store. Your pool remained outside in the parking lot.
At 9:09 a.m., Romney exited the store with a shopping cart full of groceries. He loaded up the trunk of the Suburban himself, without help of agents. He had 12-packs of Caffeine Free Diet Coke and Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi, as well as a 24-pack of Poland Spring bottled water. He also had two plastic bags of groceries. Your pooler spotted Greek yogurt.
When your pool asked whether he was cooking tonight, Romney said, “I’ll make my own dinner. That’s not exactly cooking.”
Romney said, “I’ve got some folks coming over today.” When one reporter asked if they were Rob Portman or Tim Pawlenty, Romney laughed, “Ha, ha, ha, ha,” but did not answer.
Why, he’s just like us: buyin’ “hardware stuff,” shoppin’ for all of 12 minutes in the grocery store, pushin’ that shopping cart, loadin’ that trunk, havin’ folks over…
Video created by The American Bridge 21st Century super PAC, a Democratic, opposition research-based organization.