Bill Maher explains Donald Trump’s $5 million lawsuit against him (and #Apers)

Huffington Post: Donald Trump is suing Bill Maher for $5 million in charity donations after “proving” his biological father is not, as Maher joked on “The Tonight Show,” an orange-haired orangutan.

PoliticoTrump’s attorney Scott S. Balber released a letter following Maher’s comments and attached a copy of Trump’s birth certificate. “Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump’s birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan,” Balber wrote in the letter.

Seriously! And the best part? Trump released a short-form birth certificate!

Maher explains,

“Let me catch you up on how all this got started. During the last week of the presidential campaign last year, Donald Trump – who previously had been a one-issue candidate obsessed with Obama’s birth certificate – announced that he would give $5 million to charity if Obama produced his college records. Because a black guy getting into college? Something fishy there.

So playing on the fact that the only other thing in nature with the same color hair as Trump’s is the orange-haired orangutan, I joked that Donald Trump needed to show HIS papers to prove HE wasn’t hiding a bad secret about HIS birth. This is known as parody. And it’s a form of something we in the comedy business call a joke.

Naturally I also aped, if you will, Trump’s offer of a charity of HIS choosing… which I identified as The Hair Club for Men. Really? We’re going to court about this? Well, this upset The Donald so much that they could barely get him to stop flinging his feces…

[...] You know, I’ll tell you something: the legal system in this country, it’s not a joke. It’s not a toy for rich idiots to play with. And, frankly, Mr. Balber, what you released raises more questions than it answers. At least it does to a growing chorus of patriotic Americans who call ourselves ‘Apers’ …”

Watch the whole thing. Hilarious.

The Donald flinging his feces:

Feb. 4:
1

Yesterday (Feb. 9):
2

The Arizona Clown Show: Ken Bennett explains why he won’t verify Mitt Romney’s birth records

News out of Arizona that should surprise exactly zero people. You wonder how long it took Bennett to come up with this painfully lame excuse:

Secretary of State Ken Bennett will not verify the birth records of Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, at least not now – and possibly not ever – despite an earlier public commitment to do so.

Bennett said Thursday that he has received requests from Arizona residents to perform the same kind of verification through Michigan about Romney’s birth certificate as he did through Hawaii for President Obama. And he acknowledged he had agreed to make such a check if he got a request.

But Bennett is now saying he needs something else: an allegation by an Arizona law enforcement agency that there is a question about the veracity of a candidate’s claimed birth certificate.

More…

Morning Bunker Report: Thursday 5.31.2012

WHAT THE REPUBLICAN PARTY STANDS FOR TODAY—————————–—

“There is no more naked celebrity in America than Donald Trump. He doesn’t do subtlety. He doesn’t do ‘thought.’ To say he has a political calculus is a wild overstatement. His strategy amounts to no more than junior high school algebra. The equation is: Trump + infantile public statement x infinite repetitions on TV and Twitter = maximum publicity for flailing Trump products and insatiable Trump ego.” — Frank Rich | image: christopherstreet

Romney’s birth certificate evokes his father’s controversy – Willard Mitt Romney, the certificate says, was born in Detroit on March 12, 1947. His mother, Lenore, was born in Utah and his father, former Michigan governor and one-time Republican presidential candidate George Romney, was born in Mexico. So on a day when real estate and media mogul Donald Trump was trying to help Mitt Romney by stirring up a new round of questions about whether Democratic President Barack Obama was born in the United States, Romney’s own birth record became a reminder that in the 1968 presidential campaign, his father had faced his own “birther” controversy. – Reuters

Where’s Mitt Romney’s Long-Form Birth Certificate? – Just one problem: The document released by Mitt Romney’s campaign is titled “Certificate of Live Birth.” This is, to be clear, the same thing as a birth certificate (it just has a couple of extra words in there and the order is flipped around). But according to three years of commentary from top conservative media and politicos, it’s not enough. “There’s a difference between a birth certificate, apparently, and a certificate of live birth,” said Fox News host Jeanine Pirro in a segment last April on the President’s supposedly missing paper trail. The President’s certificate of live birth, reported Fox and Friends host Steve Doocy, “is not the exact birth certificate.” Sarah Palin suggested that the certificate of live birth was insufficient proof of citizenship. As one leading conservative activist put it, “A ‘birth certificate’ and a ‘certificate of live birth’ are in no way the same thing, even though in some cases they use some of the same words.” That was Donald Trump.  – Mother Jones 

Fox News host Sean Hannity on Tuesday denied he was a “birther,” but found it “odd” that President Barack Obama took so long to release his birth certificate. “You know, I’ve never been a birther,” the Fox News host declared. “You know, it was odd that they didn’t release the birth certificate to me. I’m like, you ask me for my birth certificate, it’s pretty easy to get.” […] During his 2008 bid for the White House then-Sen. Obama did release his short-form birth certificate. FactCheck.org concluded  at the time that “it meets all of the requirements from the State Department for proving U.S. citizenship. … Obama was born in the U.S.A. just as he has always said.” After billionaire Donald Trump and other prominent birthers refused to drop the issue, the White House released the president’s long-form birth certificate in April 2011.  – Raw Story

Hoekstra Says Feds Should Check Birth Certificates (but it’s not about Obama) – Michigan U.S. Senate candidate Pete Hoekstra (R) said he’d like to “create a federal office in Washington that would verify that presidential candidates meet the minimum requirements to hold the office,” the Detroit Free Press reports. Said Hoekstra: “This is not brain surgery. It should be an FBI person, maybe a CIA person. If you want to run for president, you’ve got to go with the proper documentation and get it certified that you meet the qualifications to be the President of the United States.”– Political Wire

  • CNN Host Confronts Pete Hoekstra Over Birther Commission Proposal – Baldwin aired a clip of an infamous Hoekstra ad that aired during this year’s Super Bowl, since pulled from his website, in which an actress depicted a Chinese villager thanking Hoekstra’s opponent in broken English for running up the national debt. “Critics called you a racist for that ad,” Baldwin said. “Do you realize that critics might use this office, this proposal for this office, as further proof?” Hoekstra was not happy to see the old wound reopened. “I don’t know why they would take it in that direction,” Hoekstra said.  – TPM
  • Romney surrogate: CNN ‘should be embarrassed’ for covering birther story — Former New Hampshire Gov. John Sununu, who is now a surrogate for Mitt Romney, on Wednesday blasted CNN host Soledad O’Brien for reporting on the presumptive Republican nominee’s link to birthers like billionaire Donald Trump. – Raw Story

New low for Fox News: Fox News produced its own 4 minute attack video disguised as a retrospective of President Obama’s first term in office and aired it as a “Fox & Friends Presents” special.  […] At the conclusion of the video, Fox & Friends co-host Steve Doocy thanked one of the show’s producers for editing together the segment “for weeks.” But it only took hours for network brass to perhaps recognize the implications of Fox News producing and airing its own attack ads, because they quickly pulled it from the Fox News website with no explanation. Even conservative sites balked at the idea of Fox News producing its own political attack ads. – Think Progress

Tea Party Joe Walsh race baits — “The Democratic Party promises groups of people everything,” Walsh, a conservative freshman from suburban Chicago, said during a Schaumburg, Ill., speech caught on video provided by CREDO SuperPAC, an anti-tea party group. “They want the Hispanic vote, they want Hispanics to be dependent on government, just like they got African Americans dependent on government. That’s their game.” Walsh goes on to say that civil rights activist Jesse Jackson “would be out of work if [African Americans] weren’t dependent on government.” Walsh was elected in 2010, part of a wave of tea party-backed candidates elected to the House of Representatives that year. – HuffPo

WHAT THE PRESIDENT / DEMOCRATS STAND FOR ————————————

Not much has changed…

image: compeet

Obama Pitches ‘To-Do’ List at Bill Signing – President Barack Obama used the bill signing reauthorizing the Export-Import Bank to again push for his “to-do” list, which has gone nowhere in Congress so far. [...] Obama hasn’t gotten any traction on his “to-do” list, which includes tax cuts for small businesses, a massive mortgage refinancing plan, extending renewable energy tax breaks, a Veterans Jobs Corps and shifting tax breaks from companies that ship jobs overseas to companies that bring them back home.The president also touted his trade policies, which he said opened markets in South Korea, Colombia and Panama, while doubling the number of trade cases brought against China. – Roll Call News

Obama’s political advisor David Axelrod dissected Romney’s record in Massachusetts between 2003 and 2007 in a campaign memo…”Mitt Romney applied the economic philosophy he learned in the private sector to disastrous results as governor of Massachusetts,” Axelrod wrote.”It’s the same formula that benefited a few, but crashed our economy in the first place and undermined security for the middle class. Massachusetts couldn’t afford Romney Economics, and neither can the American economy.” Axelrod said that under Romney, Massachusetts plunged from 36th to 47th out of 50 states in job creation, and despite promises to the contrary raised taxes and fees on middle class families and small businesses. “Meanwhile, he cut taxes for millionaires like himself, handing over more than $75 million to just 278 of the wealthiest in Massachusetts.” — FRANCE 24 | image: mittromeny

Axelrod: A handful of plutocrats are trying to buy the United States“There was a report this morning that the Republican Super PACs, apart from Romney and apart from his own super PAC, intend to spend a billion dollars in this campaign setting up shadow state organizations—district-wide organizations—as well as running media. So a handful of plutocrats of billionaires with a special interest agenda are going to try and buy this government in this election, and the stakes of that are pretty profound. I’m obviously concerned about the implications for our race, but we’ve braced ourselves and we’ve been talking about this for some time. It’s a concern. It’s one of my big concerns. But for congressional candidates, it’s gotta be a nightmare. We saw in the last election, in the last 3 weeks of those campaigns, Super PACs swooped in and spent huge amounts of money in the final 3 weeks to influence those congressional races and turned a lot of races with their money. I think you can anticipate that in spades this year.” Raw Story | image: realpolitiks

  • GOP Groups Plan $1 BILLION Push for Romney (that’s billion, with a B) – Political Wire

Help Matt Taibbi Stand Up for Wall Street Reform – To get the word out about Wall Street’s anti-reform push and stiffen spines in congress, we’re trying out Thunderclap, a cool new technology that lets groups of people tweet a single message together at the same time, breaking through the din and reaching a potentially massive audience. (Learn more here.) But we need your help! Here’s how it works: Go here  and click “Tweet this in X days.” On June 6 at 12 pm, together with hundreds of other Twitter users, you will automatically tweet a message –”.@senjohnsonsd @stabenowpress Hear our voices and stop the rollback of Dodd-Frank http://thndr.it/JBZD9Z” – to Sen. Tim Johnson of South Dakota, the chairman of the Senate banking committee and Sen. Debbie Stabenow, chair of the Agriculture Committee, which has jurisdiction over financial derivatives. — Rolling Stone

Wage theft complaints increased 400% in the last decade — According to CNN Money, “More than 7,000 collective actions were filed in federal court in 2011 alleging wage and hour violations under the Fair Labor Standards Act, an approximately 400% increase since 2000.” A 2009 report showed that more than two-thirds of low-income employees had experienced a wage law violation in the previous week alone, prompting Mother Jones’ Kevin Drum to ask, “How many reports of mistreatment do we have to get before we finally figure out that labor violations are rampant in this country?” As the Huffington Post’s Alexander Eichler noted, the weak economy has “reduced the amount of leverage employees have in their relationship with their managers — meaning it’s been especially easy in recent years for bosses to demand ever more of workers while paying them the same amount as before.” – Think Progress

imageThe Pentagon wants to move toward a greener military, one that relies more on renewable energy and less on fossil fuels. Why? It would save lives. Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Martin Dempsey made that case last October and a recent Army study found that “[a] fighting force that isn’t restricted by the reach of a tanker truck or weighted down by heavy batteries is more nimble and, as a result, more lethal.” …However, there are a few hurdles standing in the way: Republicans. The House GOP included a measure in the defense authorization bill this month prohibiting the Defense Department from buying alternative fuels if they cost more than “traditional fossil fuel.” And the Senate Armed Services Committee last week followed suit with an “even tougher” provision mirroring the House version but also exempts DOD from clean energy standards. Why are the Republicans doing this? VoteVets.org chairman Jon Soltz pointed out yesterday that they get a lot of money from the oil and gas industry. – Think Progress

“The President of the United States was born in the United States. That’s just a fact. It’s not a disputed point. It’s just a fact. It’s like, we have one moon not two. It’s a fact.” – David Frum (Former Special Assistant to George W Bush) on CNN answering the question: Where do you disagree with Donald Trump?

The collapse of the Birthers

Citing a recent WaPo poll, Charles Johnson attributes the numbers to the release of Obama’s long form birth certificate, which he says “actually did have a big impact on the Birther delusion:”

  1. 70% now say he was born in Hawaii,
  2. And only 10% say he was born abroad.*

Teaparty Turtle says:

* And 1% claim “solid evidence” that the president was born elsewhere. That must be the Donald Trump / Orly Taitz segment of America. I don’t know what they mean by ‘solid‘ evidence, but I wouldn’t ask to see it. 

The Osama-bin-Laden-Isn’t-Really-Dead conspiracy theory

So who’s in on this conspiracy to fool the world?


  • Osama bin Laden (he was really taken to a farm where he’ll be able to run and play);
  • An anonymous Pakistan security official who took photos of 3 dead men, a wrecked U.S. helicopter and the Abbottabad compound about an hour after the U.S. military had left with Bin Laden’s body (CONVENIENT!!);
  • A senior al Qaeda member on Riyadh’s most-wanted list named Khaled al-Qahtani (ALSO WANTS TO GO TO A FARM);
  • And, of course, Pakistan — because, more than anyone else, they have SO MUCH  to gain in this situation. (WIN!!)

Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow discuss birthers and deathers [starting at about 3:33 mins]:

Rachel: “The idea that the birth certificate is the real story, and Osama bin Laden is the ‘distraction’ from it, tells you everything you need to know about the people who are really invested in the birth certificate story. If you think bin Laden is the DISTRACTION that America needs, I think that puts that in the proper perspective.”

The birthers and Donald Trump couldn’t look like childish assclowns more than they do today

inothernews:

Trump and his racist followers are so busy playing  politics, they don’t even recognize the President is quietly and steadily doing his job — despite the games

And our President delivers without the stagecraft of aircraft carriers, huge Mission Accomplished banners, and a costume flight suit.

Obama’s birth certificate gets the “Shep Smith Seal of Approval”

Fox News notifies the real ‘Murikuns that Obama was not born in Kenya:

A clearly annoyed Shep Smith repeated what was already known on his Monday show: that President Obama was born in the United States.

Smith played video of the Rev. Franklin Graham questioning why President Obama has not “produced” a birth certificate.

“Well, he has produced a birth certificate,” Smith said, his voice rising. “…It is stamped and sealed…and Fox News can confirm the president of the United States is a citizen of the United States. Period.”

A sad day in many southern assisted living facilities and in Tea Party HQs and Klan offices around the nation.

Moment of silence.

So should we expect those tax returns by week’s end, Trump?

“Maybe I’m going to do the tax returns when Obama does his birth certificate…I’d love to give my tax returns.  I may tie my tax returns into Obama’s birth certificate.” — Donald Trump, April 18, 2011

Of course, you can’t miss the ‘maybe’ and ‘may’ and the overall wishy-washiness of his statement.

To all the Birthers: Where’s your God now?

President Obama releases his LONG FORM BIRTH CERTIFICATE:

Of course everyone already knows the long form birth certificate the birthers have been screaming for won’t be good enough either. The racists Teaparty Republican Birthers and their Birther King (Trump) will now ask for video footage of the birth. Or a ‘circumcision certificate.’ OR A FUNCTIONAL TIME MACHINE so that they may return to Hawaii on August 4, 1961 at 7:24 PM to view the birth personally. What? You can’t give us a time machine? Obviously born in Kenya!

Sorry, Teparty Republican Birthers… Trump’s tired of talking about the birth certificate

Donald Trump speaks at a tea party rally in Boca Raton, Fla. on April 16, 2011

In what has to be a dark day for birthers, it seems Donald Trump, their most popular champion, has tired of talking about President Obama’s disputed birth certificate.

The Donald might want to rethink that decision. Almost half of the Teaparty Republican base are birthers and that’s where all his support is coming from (emphasis mine):

With media figures fixated on false claims that President Obama was not born in the United States, Sean Hannity made perfectly clear where the blame lies: with the “Obama mania media’s bias,” which “would have you believe that the only thing conservatives talk about is the birth certificate.”

An hour later, Greta Van Susteren and Donald Trump talked at length about the birth certificate on Fox News, and Trump concluded that “a lot of Republicans” agree with his birtherism.

Indeed, according to a recent New York Times/CBS News poll, 45 percent of Republicans think that Obama was not born in the United States.

And according to that same poll, 45 percent of Republicans cite Fox News as the television network that they turn to for news.

Here’s a sample of the kind of people who make up that 45 percent of the Teaparty Republican Birther base of today’s GOP:

Sarah Palin’s Miracle: Can’t have a fish picker from Texas

http://fourthnight.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/palin_4_web5.jpg?w=218&h=349Andrew Sullivan begs Rebecca Mansour: “make me look like a fool for even wondering. Please.”

Geoffrey Dunn revisits the story that, far from dying, is gaining traction:

Hoping to disprove the conspiracy theory when I initiated work on my book–and to put the story to bed once and for all–I interviewed several close associates of Palin’s, including her friends and political allies. I was anticipating, perhaps even hoping, that they would tell me conclusively that Trig was her child. I was shocked by the response.

One close friend of Palin’s–a widely respected woman who had given birth to several children as well and who had close contact with Palin in Juneau up until the time of Trig’s birth–told me that “Palin did not look like she was pregnant. Ever. Even when she had the bulging belly, I never felt that the rest of her body, her face especially, looked like she was pregnant.” When I asked her point-blank if she was certain the baby was Palin’s, she said, “No. I don’t know what to believe.”

With Palin dragging herself aboard Trump’s Birther-Train and “defending” him from the “lamestream” media, she’s only reminding people about her own very weird, ever-changing, seemingly fictional story of  the labor and delivery of Trig. And as more people actually read her description of the labor and birth, they will wonder why she continues to refuse to produce the birth certificate and stop the speculation immediately — if she can, that is.

And that’s why this isn’t going away.