Representative of every cat with a Christmas tree in the house.
We’re only 10 days out… too late to order from Amazon, I think.
…or he’s inspecting the War on Christmas from the front lines. Whichever fits your personal narrative.
“It’s, well, Christmas all over again. The Grinch is trying to steal our holiday. It’s been so beautiful, the nation comes together, we sing Christmas carols, we give gifts to each other, we have lighted trees, and it’s just a beautiful thing. Atheists don’t like our happiness, they don’t want you to be happy, they want you to be miserable. They’re miserable, so they want you to be miserable. So they want to steal your holiday away from you.” — Pat Robertson, on The 700 Club, gearing up for another War on Christmas.
Maybe the real “war” on Christmas can be found in out-of-control consumerism:
In terms of income inequality and cheap prices at Walmart, “the four Walton’s who rank in Forbes’ list of the wealthiest in the country are worth almost as much as the bottom half of all Americans…. their wealth comes at a price to taxpayers. One study found that California Wal-Mart workers were 40 percent more likely to be on public assistance, which costs taxpayers $86 million a year.”
The protests on Black Friday were an attempt to call attention to how Walmart shoppers contribute to workers low wages — and to their own low pay – by further enriching and subsidizing greedy employers like the Walton family.
- Reuters: Walmart protests draw crowds BUT SHOPPERS UNDETERRED: Protesters demanding higher wages and better healthcare for hourly workers thronged to Walmart stores across the country, though there was no evidence they disrupted operations for the start of the crucial holiday shopping season.
- Businessweek: Wal-Mart Union Protests FAIL TO DETER BARGAIN-SEEKERS: Jamie Walsh faced a Black Friday dilemma: take advantage of Wal-Mart’s deals at the Salem, New Hampshire, store or support union-backed protesters demanding better pay and benefits. In the end, the deals won the day.
- Chicago Tribune: Walmart protests draw crowds, SHOPPERS LARGELY UNFAZED: Dozens of local workers, and hundreds nationally, took advantage of Black Friday crowds and camera crews at major retailers like Walmart to call for wage increases. But there was little evidence that the chanting disrupted holiday shoppers.
After the protests, will people “now link Walmart’s low prices to ‘a circumstance where taxpayers are subsidizing Walton’s billion dollars of profits‘” — and even if they do, will they even care if they can buy another cheap tv?
Where’s the “spirit” of Christmas in Black Friday?
O come all ye NRA members, joyfully locked and loaded. O come ye, o come ye to Bethlehem Gun Shop…
Two days before Christmas, NICS ran 102,222 background checks, which was the second-busiest day in history. The one-day record was set this year on Black Friday, the big shopping day following Thanksgiving, with 129,166 searches.
[...] A leading gun-control organization says repeat buyers most likely are responsible for the holiday surge in guns sales.
“The research we’ve seen indicates fewer and fewer people are owning more and more guns,” said Caroline Brewer of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence. “All the trends indicate the number of Americans who own guns has declined.”
“It would appear because of fear-mongering by the NRA since (President Barack) Obama’s election that people are adding more guns to their arsenals out of fear Obama and the Democrats will take away their guns, which is absurd,” said Brewer.
We can’t choose our family but we can drink!
1. Someone is wearing an ugly sweater, 1 Drink
2. Someone makes an insensitive comment about your job/love life/beliefs, 2 Drinks
3. Mother criticizes you, 1 Drink
4. Father makes an inappropriate joke, 2 Drinks
5. Aunt says something disparaging about a family member behind their back, 1 Drink
6. Grandma makes a comment about her mortality and/or how she is unappreciated, 1 Drink
7. Grandpa falls asleep before sundown, 2 Drinks
8. Someone gets drunk and says something offensive that makes everyone in the room uncomfortable, 1 Drink
9. That someone is you, Chug
10. Dog throws up, 1 Drink
(Caution: results may vary):
Meat – it’s good for you!
After all, the baby Jesus would have wanted a pair of these shoes, wouldn’t he?