Sit down, because Zeke Miller of Romney’s online PR firm (Buzzfeed) has cracked the biggest story of the 2012 campaign season:

President Obama is using communist typeface on his signs. Well… communist INSPIRED font from retro-Cuban posters. CUBA. COMMUNIST! THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. Hide your kids. This changes everything.

Zeke Miller is a scholar and a patriot. He’s like the Robert Langdon of computer fonts. And there’s absolutely no reason why Zeke should feel embarrassed about actually asking the Obama campaign for comment on this “issue” — or for the response he received from press secretary Ben LaBolt: “Your GOP operative should have had the courtesy to stay sober before noon, and BuzzFeed should go back to labeling cat slideshows.“

They WOULD say that, wouldn’t they, Zeke?